A Gujarati wedding moves through a recognisable sequence: the engagement with gol dhana or chandlo matli, then mandap muhurat, Ganesh sthapana and grah shanti, the pithi, the mameru and an evening of sanji or garba, and finally the wedding day with the jaan, ponkhvu, hastmelap, the mangal fera and the vidaai, followed by the bride's welcome into her new home. Families vary in what they keep and when, but this order explains most kankotris.
Every family differs
Rituals differ between communities, regions and families, and many families combine or skip some. Treat this as the common pattern, and ask your elders what yours follows.
Before the wedding
Gol dhana or chandlo matli
The engagement. In gol dhana, jaggery (gol) and coriander seeds (dhana) are shared as a sweet beginning, and the couple exchange rings and take the elders' blessings. In chandlo matli, the bride's father applies a chandlo, a tilak, to the groom's forehead and gives him a matli, a steel pot with sweets and gifts.
Mandap muhurat
The auspicious start of the wedding preparations: a puja at the place where the mandap will stand, held in both families' homes a few days before.
Ganesh sthapana
Ganesh is installed at home and worshipped so that the wedding goes ahead without obstacles.
Grah shanti
A puja to the planets, held by each family for a smooth and auspicious wedding.
Pithi
The Gujarati haldi: a paste of turmeric and other ingredients is applied to the bride and groom at their homes. The haldi wording guide has a Gujarati pithi invitation.
Mameru
The maternal uncle's family brings gifts for the bride, often including the panetar, the white and red saree she may wear for the wedding, along with jewellery and bangles.
Sanji, garba and dandiya
An evening of traditional wedding songs, often followed by garba and dandiya raas, when both families sing and dance together.
The wedding day
| Ritual | What happens |
|---|---|
| Jaan | The groom's party travels to the bride's venue, often with music and dancing |
| Ponkhvu | The bride's mother welcomes the groom with an aarti and playfully tries to catch his nose, a reminder to stay humble |
| Madhuparka | The bride's parents wash the groom's feet and offer him a drink of honey and milk |
| Antarpat | A cloth is held between the couple until the moment of the muhurat |
| Kanyadaan | The bride's parents give her hand to the groom |
| Hastmelap | The joining of hands, the heart of the wedding |
| Mangal fera | The couple circle the sacred fire, commonly four times in Gujarati weddings |
| Saptapadi | Seven steps together, each a vow |
| Kansar | The couple feed each other kansar, a sweet dish, a first meal as husband and wife |
| Vidaai | The bride's farewell from her family |
After the wedding
Kanku pagla and the welcome
The bride enters her new home over kumkum footprints, a sign that Lakshmi has arrived. The kanku pagla guide covers the ceremony and its invitation.
Aeki beki
A playful game: a ring is dropped into a vessel of water coloured with kumkum and milk, and the bride and groom search for it. Whoever finds it most often is said to rule the house.
How these appear on the kankotri
The kankotri's mangal prasango section lists the rituals guests are invited to, in order, each with a date and time: often the mandap muhurat, grah shanti, pithi, mameru, sanji, the jaan and the hastmelap, and the meal. The Gujarati kankotri wording guide has the Gujarati lines for each.
મંડપ મુહૂર્ત: તા. 10-12-2026, સવારે 10:30
પીઠી: તા. 11-12-2026, સવારે 10:00
મામેરું: તા. 11-12-2026, બપોરે 3:00
સાંજી: તા. 11-12-2026, રાત્રે 8:00
હસ્તમેળાપ: તા. 12-12-2026, સાંજે 7:30
For guests from other communities
Gujarati weddings are long, joyful and full of small rituals. Guests from other communities appreciate a short note on the invitation, or a cousin who explains as things happen: when the ponkhvu is about to begin, why the antarpat is lifted, what the kansar means. It turns a long evening into a story they can follow.
An order of the day
Print or share a one-page “order of the day” for the wedding evening, with one line explaining each ritual. Guests read it while waiting, and the elders enjoy that the customs are being explained.
Related guides
The kankotri meaning guide explains the invitation itself, and the first kankotri guide covers the offering to Ganesh. More guides are under kankotri and Gujarati weddings.
Questions people ask
What is the order of a Gujarati wedding?
Commonly gol dhana, mandap muhurat, Ganesh sthapana, grah shanti, pithi, mameru, sanji, then the jaan, ponkhvu, hastmelap, mangal fera, saptapadi, kansar and vidaai.
What is ponkhvu in a Gujarati wedding?
The bride's mother welcomes the groom with an aarti and playfully tries to catch his nose, a reminder to stay humble.
How many pheras are there in a Gujarati wedding?
Commonly four mangal fera, followed by the saptapadi, the seven steps. Customs vary between families.
What is mameru?
The ritual when the bride's maternal uncle's family brings her gifts, often including the panetar saree, jewellery and bangles.
Filed under Kankotri & Gujarati weddings
Written by ShubhLink Editorial Team
The team behind ShubhLink's invitation templates and ShubhLink AI. We write down what families ask us most, and check each guide before it goes live.