The first kankotri of a wedding is offered to Ganesh before anyone else receives one, so that the wedding begins with his blessing and goes ahead without obstacles. Families usually place the card, marked with kanku and a little rice, in the home temple or take it to a Ganesh temple with sweets, soon after the cards are ready. The next cards commonly go to the kuldevi or kuldevta, and then to the elders or the maternal uncle.
Details vary between families and communities. Treat the notes below as the common pattern, and ask the eldest member of your family how yours does it.
Why Ganesh first
Ganesh is Vighnaharta, the remover of obstacles, and he is worshipped at the start of any auspicious work. Offering him the first invitation is a way of inviting him to the wedding before anyone else and asking that everything goes smoothly. It's the same reason the kankotri itself opens with શ્રી ગણેશાય નમઃ, as the guide to the meaning of kankotri explains.
When to offer it
Most families offer the first kankotri as soon as the printed cards arrive, or on a day chosen by the family priest, before any invitation is given or sent to relatives. Invitations usually go out four to six weeks before the wedding, as the timing guide sets out, so the first kankotri is often offered a few days before that.
Some families prefer a Wednesday or a Chaturthi, days associated with Ganesh. Others simply choose the first morning the cards are in the house.
How it's usually done
- Take the first card from the box, before any are written on or sent.
- Mark it with kanku, often a swastik or a dot on the envelope and the card, and add a few grains of rice (akshat).
- Some families write Ganesh's name on the envelope as the addressee.
- Place it before Ganesh in the home temple, with sweets such as modak or laddoo, and light a diya.
- The parents, and often the bride or groom, pray for the wedding to go well.
- Many families also take a card to a nearby Ganesh temple, and some leave the home temple card there until the wedding is over.
Who comes next
| Order | Who | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ganesh | In the home temple, or at a Ganesh temple |
| 2 | Kuldevi or kuldevta | The family deity, often at their temple, sometimes in another town |
| 3 | The mama, or the eldest relatives | Families differ; the maternal uncle has an important role in Gujarati weddings |
| 4 | Close family | Usually in person, with sweets |
| 5 | Everyone else | In person, by post or by link |
Where the kuldevi's temple is far away, some families send the card with a relative who lives nearby, or offer it at the next visit. The intention is what matters, and nobody expects a special trip if one isn't possible.
A temple that receives invitations by post
The custom of inviting Ganesh reaches well beyond the home. The Trinetra Ganesh temple in Ranthambore Fort, in Rajasthan's Sawai Madhopur district, is known for receiving wedding invitations by post from families across India, addressed simply to Shri Ganesh ji. The cards are placed before the deity. It's one of the clearest signs of how seriously families take the idea of inviting Ganesh first.
With a digital kankotri
Families who send their invitations digitally still offer the first one to Ganesh. The common ways are:
- Print one copy of the digital kankotri, or a few, and offer the first as above.
- Place a phone or tablet showing the invitation before Ganesh for the prayer, then send the first link.
- Order a small number of printed cards for Ganesh, the kuldevi and the elders, and send the digital invitation to everyone else.
The first is the most common. Elders tend to feel that an offered card should be something you can hold, and a single printed copy costs very little.
Small things families forget
- Keep the first card aside before anyone starts writing names on envelopes.
- Check that the spelling and the date are final before the offering, since reprinting after the puja feels wrong to many families.
- Take a photo of the card before the deity. It makes a lovely first page for the wedding album.
- Tell the family group when the first kankotri has been offered. That's usually the signal that invitations can go out.
Not the same as Ganesh sthapana
If the wedding has a Ganesh sthapana as one of its rituals, the first kankotri and the sthapana are separate things. The kankotri is offered weeks before; the sthapana happens in the days just before the wedding, with the other pre-wedding rituals.
For designs with a Ganesh motif on the first page, see the wedding templates. More kankotri guides are under kankotri and Gujarati weddings.
Questions people ask
Why is the first wedding card given to Ganesh?
Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and is worshipped at the start of any auspicious work. Offering him the first card invites him to the wedding first and asks for his blessing.
Who gets the second kankotri?
Usually the kuldevi or kuldevta, the family deity. After that, many families give cards to the maternal uncle or the eldest relatives. Customs vary.
Can the first invitation to Ganesh be digital?
Many families print one copy for the offering even when every other invitation is digital. Others place a phone or tablet with the invitation before Ganesh. Both are done.
What is offered with the first kankotri?
Commonly kanku, a little rice, sweets such as modak or laddoo, and a lit diya. Some families add a coconut or flowers.
Filed under Kankotri & Gujarati weddings
Written by ShubhLink Editorial Team
The team behind ShubhLink's invitation templates and ShubhLink AI. We write down what families ask us most, and check each guide before it goes live.