At most Indian ring ceremonies, the two families meet, a short puja or prayer is held, gifts are exchanged between the families, the couple exchange rings, and the elders bless them before a meal and some music. Around that common core, every community has its own rituals: the chunni ceremony in Punjabi families, gol dhana in Gujarati ones, sakharpuda in Maharashtra, and the formal reading of the marriage agreement at a Tamil nichayathartham.
The common order
- The families arrive and greet each other, often with garlands or a tilak for the groom's party.
- A Ganesh puja or a short prayer, if the families follow one.
- The exchange of gifts between the two families: clothes, sweets, dry fruit, jewellery, often arranged on decorated trays.
- Tilak or blessings for the couple, sometimes with shagun, a gift of money.
- The ring exchange.
- Blessings from the elders, and photos with both families.
- A meal, music and dancing.
Regional customs
| Community | Name | What's distinctive |
|---|---|---|
| Punjabi | Roka, kurmai, chunni chadai | The groom's family drapes a red chunni over the bride's head and gives her jewellery and gifts |
| Gujarati | Gol dhana | Jaggery (gol) and coriander seeds (dhana) are shared as a sweet start; rings are exchanged and the couple take the elders' blessings |
| Marathi | Sakharpuda | Sugar (sakhar) is given to the bride along with a saree and gifts from the groom's family |
| Tamil | Nichayathartham | Trays of betel leaves, fruit and gifts are exchanged, and the marriage agreement (lagna pathrikai) is read out |
| Telugu | Nischitartham | Similar to the Tamil ceremony, with the formal agreement between families |
| Bengali | Ashirbad | Elders of each family bless the other's child with paddy and durba grass (dhan-durba) |
| Sindhi | Kachi misri, pakki misri | Sugar crystals (misri) mark the engagement; the kachi misri is informal, the pakki misri the formal ceremony |
Gifts exchanged between families
Gift trays are a big part of most ring ceremonies, and they're where small misunderstandings happen. Common items include:
- Clothes for the bride, the groom and sometimes close family members.
- Sweets, dry fruit and fruit baskets.
- Jewellery, often a set for the bride from the groom's family.
- A coconut and shagun, a gift of money in an envelope.
- Silver items, such as a coin with Lakshmi and Ganesh.
Agree on gifts early
Agree on the gift list between the two families a few weeks ahead, and write it down. Most awkward moments at engagements come from one family bringing far more or far less than the other expected.
What the couple should prepare
- The rings. Sizes checked, engraving done, and stored in their boxes with one trusted person until the moment.
- Outfits that work for sitting through a puja and standing for photos.
- A few words, if either family expects a short speech. Two or three sentences is plenty.
- Names of the other family's elders, so you can greet them properly.
- A moment for photos with the grandparents early in the evening, before anyone leaves.
The ring exchange itself
In most families the bride puts the ring on the groom first, or the groom on the bride; customs differ, and both are fine. The ring usually goes on the fourth finger of the left hand, following the Western custom that has become common in India, though some families use the right hand. If your family has a preference, mention it to the couple and the photographer beforehand. A small tray or a decorated platter for the rings looks better in photos than a jewellery box held in someone's hand.
A few words of welcome
Someone from the host family usually says a few words before the ring exchange. Short is better: two or three sentences, in the language the elders are most comfortable with. Examples, with made-up names:
On behalf of our family, welcome. Today Priya becomes part of your family, and Rahul becomes part of ours.
We're grateful for your blessings, and we look forward to the wedding together.
आप सभी का हार्दिक स्वागत है।
आज से प्रिया और राहुल का नया रिश्ता शुरू हो रहा है।
आपका आशीर्वाद ही हमारे लिए सबसे बड़ा उपहार है।
Photos to make sure you get
- Both families together, before anyone leaves.
- The couple with each set of grandparents.
- The gift trays, before they're opened.
- The rings on the tray, and the moment of the exchange.
- The couple alone for a minute, away from the crowd.
Planning and inviting
The engagement planning checklist breaks the preparation into weeks, and the engagement invitation wording guide has samples for cards and messages. For the design, see the engagement templates. More guides are under engagement and ring ceremony.
Questions people ask
What happens at an Indian ring ceremony?
The families meet, a short puja or prayer is held, gifts are exchanged, the couple exchange rings and the elders bless them, followed by a meal. Each community adds its own rituals.
Who puts the ring on first?
It varies. In many families the groom puts the ring on the bride first; in others the bride goes first. Both are fine, so follow your family's custom.
What is gol dhana?
The Gujarati engagement ceremony. Jaggery (gol) and coriander seeds (dhana) are shared as a sweet beginning, rings are exchanged and the couple take the elders' blessings.
Which hand does the engagement ring go on?
Most often the fourth finger of the left hand, following the Western custom. Some families prefer the right hand, so check with the elders.
Filed under Engagement & ring ceremony
Written by ShubhLink Editorial Team
The team behind ShubhLink's invitation templates and ShubhLink AI. We write down what families ask us most, and check each guide before it goes live.